bay to breakers is hella gay

This weekend it's Bay to Breakers! Again.

Every year swarms of A holes run past my apartment, drunk, at 7 am and wake me from my inevitably hungover dreams.

This might be a good weekend to stay inside or leave town. I'll be doing the former, you are welcome to join me for a drink.

Sounds good...

Last night after about eleventeen drinks thanks to Erik, Stacypants and I were rocking out at the Elbo room to some sweet jams. It was Artist appreciation night, and I got in because Stacy was on the list and well, drinking for free=drinking too much. Every time. The event was super rad...dj's from each of the regular club nights at the Elbo played short sets, there was tons of food catered from a taco truck parked outside, and Erik was manning the bar serving all kinds of delicious cocktails. All the different club nights were represented...the goths from Shutter, the stoners from reggee night, the, uh, funky guys from the funk night. Totally rad to watch them all party together.

Stacy and I warmed up by dancing to some soul music, then took a break during the Brazilian jams even though the music sounded really good (or i was sounding really drunk). But then...the funk guy took over and it was hella awesome. I was like DYING over the songs they were playing and commenting to Stacy how I might even consider going to their night. At one point I leaned over to her and was like...I wish the DJ would play that Paul Simon song, and started singing it. And then. He did! And of course we freaked out and after his set was like omg you are the best dj you just played this song from in my mind...and he was like...I'm not a dj I'm the sound guy!

Awesome.

Who wants to go to Mexico?

When I get to work tomorrow I'm going to find the cheapest flight and hotel and if i can make it happen for less than $200 for a weekend I am going in June and you should come too.

I think at this point hotels should be paying us to stay there?

texts from last night...(well or whenever)

Katie sent me this:

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

So I decided to post a bunch of texts from my sent box in no particular order.

he just left now im drinking gatoraid. before he left he was like..."it was funny how you threw up last night"

no, but andrea wants to write about it for the Blaze

You should have spelled that wii

At shittiest bar i have ever been to. You would appreciate it.

Get Here Soon!

Be Here Now!

Bowling is not bed!

then i could call it Dressed to get Tittyfucked.

At this crappy bar and theres this ex pro skater who im pretty sure i had a threesome with but really dont remember. another drink and im gunna ask him.

Wearing new hold up stockings and i love then. they are seamed at the back and come all the way up to my area.

Totally have busted capillaries around my eyes from barfing last night. Like a model!

even though i barfed up those nachoslast night i totes want nachos for dinner

This flyer is for free beer til someone has to pee.

Dude i feel like a hammer is hitting my head with another hammer.

Pretenging to be you on the phone with the airlines. hilarious.

I do not remember this AT ALL.

Email from tiny wifey:

Also, thought i'd tell you cause I was dying.... you know what you asked Eug's friends from France when you walked out of the bar?

Eug: Jess, this is Vassilli, Vass, this is Jess
Jess: Hi, nice to meet you (shake hands)
Vass: Hi, nice to meet you
Jess: How do you say Vagina in French?

New post on the Ladydate blog...

http://ladydatesf.blogspot.com/

Bookmark us? It'll get better I swear.

Feeeeeeeelix!

www.lolfelix.com is totally available.

Want to start with this one?

a confession

I have four REALLY overdue library books (like, I checked them out at least a year ago). This makes me feel horrible for so many reason...I am depriving my fellow patrons of books! I am horribly procrastinating a ten minute walk! I didn't even particularly LIKE any of those books! I think I read a couple and kinda half started the other two, then somehow they ended up under my bed possibly in a fit of decluttering? I found 'em under there a few months ago and ever since have been trying to to get up the nerve to beg for the forgiveness of some nice librarian in the hopes he or she would drastically reduce my $108 in fines. Now it's been so long I'm just embarrassed and feel like a jackass.

However, SF Public library is offering amnesty for the next couple of weeks, so I can return the books, no questions asked, and start checking them out again. Time to get back to work on my never ending "to read" book list. To assuage my guilt I'm going to bring a cash donation with me and hope that'll redeem my shitty behavior.

Hey thanks library. I heart you now more than ever!

http://sfpl.org/fineamnesty/