I date so you can laugh about it later.

My friend Erin emailed asking me if she can set me up with some dude who is probably from the marina and won't get it. But I might take her up on it because blind dates are the stuff of blogs.

Also, she is getting married this year and is on a "bride diet", despite having the cutest figure so we are going to hot yoga together later this week and maybe dance class.

That's my morning update.

j

Stacy is bringing me this She-Bible pantsuit and I am really excited about it. It looks good on everyone and I am going to wear it with super high heels and then they're pants so I can get all drunk and fall over while dancing and no one will see my cooter! Well, til later anyway.

i can haz...

So this year instead of playing the white elephant game (ugh i HATE that game) we are doing secret santa at the neuro-epi office. Here's my list:

5 things I like:
1) Kittens and/or
2) Puppies
3) Booze
4) Science!
5) Cooking/Baking

I actually deleted "boys" from the list, but left booze on there. Hey, if the right person picks my name I might get a six pack of beer or something? I though the odds of recieving a boyfriend from my work secret santa were slim to none.

Six of one/half dozen of the other...

The other night i was at some event cuz it was supposed to be open bar (but was NOT) and ended up dancing/drinking/hanging out with some friends I haven’t seen in a while. One of them gave me a flyer for an event he was djing, a big all night party that I feel too old to attend. Dudes, I looked at the flyer and was like…oh He’s djing? And so’s HE? And realized there would be at least three dudes at that party who have at lease seen me naked (I haven’t, you know, banged all of ‘em, but still). I can hypothesize on at least two, and maybe three other guys who might be there and round the number up to six. Which would be hilarious.

If I go, and if that happens, I will be running my first ever d-cupcake contest to see who can name ‘em all or at least describe them by how we met/where they’re from/why I never slept with them again. The prize would probably be my prank calling one or more of them to see which one I can get to come over first or at least buy me drinks.

pussy cart.

KK: What's up with BK?

JF: i have to email and remind him he's got to kick whatever lame girls he's got hanging around out of his bed for a week while i'm in town. i can maybe mention that he should also not leave condom wrappers from said girls on the floor where i can see them...but i maybe don't care that much because i am a ho.

KK: I'm glad to hear that you'll still be banging BK. Doesn't he have family to visit for Thanksgiving?

JF: i dunno. i should text him and remind him the pussy shop's in town.

KK: omg. the pussy cart. hahahahaha

JF: the pussy trunk show? wait that implies my pussy is big and spacious like a trunk and it is not! exclusive pussy collection? pussy gift with purchase?

KK: I'm into the idea of the pussy cart, like how downtown there is collection of food carts. portland is really big into the food cart scene. I saw one yesterday that just served waffles and ice cream. Yours would just serve pussy. and handjobs on the side...

JF: it would be more like the bacon wrapped hot dog carts in the mission...open late night/for hipsters.

bloggin in my sleep.

Last night I took half a valium with my pm glass of jug wine because I couldn’t sleep (which was totally my fault because I spent the entire day in pj’s/wrapped in a blanket alternately napping/playing with teh kittens) and woke up from a nightmare thinking I HAD to blog about it. But I think the dream/nightmare was just that there was a hole in my bathroom wall so I couldn’t use it. Then I woke up really having to pee (thanks jug wine) so that explains it I guess.

Said kittens are available for cute time whenever you want to stop by. They love you.

Today's NY Times Style section has an article about goth fashion:

"Done badly, Gothic makeup can look painfully stupid. After spending money on a decent base, take the trouble to apply it evenly. It’s appalling how many Goths overlook something so basic and vital to their entire aesthetic. Equally bad and unfortunately just as frequent is the tendency to overpowder and the tendency to end one’s pallor at the jawbone. I can understand someone having difficulty with liquid eyeliner, but some mistakes are just inexcusably stupid. Don’t make them.”

HAHAHAHAHA.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/18/fashion/18GOTH.html?_r=1&ref=fashion&oref=slogin